The idea of death in cinema is one that has captivated filmakers since they first started making films. Shocking audiences with realistic, creative, or simply very gruesome death scenes is an idea that doesn’t seem likely to stop any time soon. Here are 8 that I would realistically like to NEVER happen to me in real life.

#8: Being eaten alive by a shark (Jaws, 1975) 

I seriously don’t think it gets said enough – it would be fucking awful to be eaten alive by a great white shark. The bastard has such huge teeth and an insatiable blood lust – plus, it is also apparently capable of eating boats. No-one is safe from it. Check out Quint attempting to deal with his ultimate fate:

Shark fin soup?

#7: Getting ambushed and shot to death by loads of people (The Godfather, 1976)

Sonny is the cocky son of Don Corleone, he is also next in line to inherit his father’s mafia empire. He is also a hot headed, violent young man. All of this seems to piss a few people off, and as such he gets shot to death by quite a few people. Most violent about this death scene is the length of time it goes on – it seems like Sonny is getting shot for a really outrageously long time.

Like a sieve!

#6: Your head being blown up unexpectedly (Scanners, 1981) 

Scanners is a weird sci-fi film about telekenis and mental bastards who use it, if it weren’t for the most famous scene in question, the film would probably have been forgotten. In a way, this is definitely the most desirable death on the list, however bizarre that sounds – yeah, there is a tense build up and the guy’s head seems to be hurting quite a bit, but when it finally explodes, his brain is completely destroyed, that suggests to me that his death would have been (relatively) quick and (probably not that) painless. Still, this would be an unforgettable death if he was your friend or relative.

The origin of the phrase “boom, headshot!”.

#5: Having a massive porcelain dildo smashed into your head (A Clockwork Orange, 1971) 

Picture the scene: you live alone with a lot of cats, when suddenly a young lad just wanders into the room you are in, he doesn’t live there, he has broken in. Of course you’d want him to leave, but he doesn’t. Instead he starts messing with stuff in your house. Picking up a massive porcelain dildo off a table, he chases you round with it. This would be horrible enough, but then when he finally smashes it into your head and kills you – you know that is an unbelievably undesirable death indeed.

Definitely a bad way to go…

#4: Having your eyes pecked out by a bird, which then pecks you to death (The Birds, 1963) 

To be fair, this is a death that you don’t see (it was 1963 to be fair, death scenes in popular cinema were hardly the norm), but as usual with Hitchcock, it’s what you don’t see that is freakiest. A man’s wife returns home to find him slouched dead on the floor, covered in peck marks and with no eyes whatsoever. The pain that man must have suffered in his final moments doesn’t even bare thinking about.

‘My eyes, the goggles do nothing’

#3: Having your eyes gouged out by a super-powerful android (Bladerunner, 1982) 

This is the kind of death that you would really want to avoid at all costs. An android, built by his own hand returns to Tyrell’s building begging for longer life.  Tyrell obviously can’t give him this, and in a state of heartbreaking existential anguish, Roy Batty (the absolute monster of a physical specimen) gouges his eyes out.

Too much pressure to be an optician.

#2: An extra-terrestrial life form bursts out of your stomach and you die instantly (Alien, 1979) 

After making the rookie mistake of ‘fucking with shit he didn’t really understand’, Kane ends up with a weird thing hanging off his face (obviously pictured above). When the thing finally lets go, everything is absolutely fine – obviously, there are no repercussions and the ship’s mission is continued uninterrupted. Oh apart from the part where the group are eating dinner and a tiny ugly alien baby bursts out of his stomach and proceeds to grow huge in a matter of a few hours, finally killing all but one of the ship’s crew.

Look who came to dinner.

#1: Being completely submerged in toxic waste – but not long enough for it to actually kill you, then being ran over at high speed (Robocop, 1987) 

Robocop (like most Paul Verhoeven films) is absolutely jam packed with creative and disgusting death scenes. Of course the actual death of officer Murphy is a really violent one, and his final revenge on all the gang members who fucked him over is too. But one scene amongst all others strikes me as so violent and over the top that it is unbeatable. Robocop calmly dives out of the way of a guy driving a massive truck, who then proceeds to drive said truck into a huge vat of ‘toxic waste’. The ‘toxic waste’ obviously is extremely corrosive and caustic, and within a matter of seconds he is burnt and mutated into melted, inhuman example of a man. He is then ran over by his boss, and is promptly splattered absolutely everywhere.

….Eew

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